The Lovers as a Person

As a person, the Lovers upright is someone open-hearted who chooses by their values; reversed, the same heart torn between pulls, people-pleasing or out of tune with itself.

Upright, the Lovers describes someone who meets people without armor and chooses by what they believe. They tend to give their whole attention in a conversation, and they say what they feel fairly plainly, which can be disarming. Harmony matters to them, but not the shallow kind; they would rather talk a disagreement through than paper it over. Their loyalty runs to people and to principles at once, and they are happiest when the two point the same way. On the card, a man and a woman stand unclothed under a winged figure and a blazing sun, and that openness is the clue: here is someone willing to be seen.

Reversed, the Lovers describes the same open-hearted person caught between pulls. They may agree to things they don't believe in to keep the peace, then feel quietly resentful. Some lose their shape inside a relationship, taking on a partner's tastes, friends and opinions until it is hard to tell what they want. Others stall at a fork for months, unable to choose because every option disappoints someone. A second attraction may be part of it, entertained rather than settled. Usually their values haven't gone anywhere; they have gone unspoken, and saying them out loud, even awkwardly, is often what brings this person back into tune.

The Lovers, card six, is less often a single person than a way someone shows up inside a bond. It can fit a partner or spouse, a best friend who feels like family, even a business partner whose values match yours. Any pairing qualifies, whatever the genders; the theme is agreement between two people, or between one person's heart and their principles. In the zodiac of the Golden Dawn, the society Waite and Smith both belonged to, the Lovers takes Gemini, the twins, a sign of two voices in conversation.

• Looks at you fully when you're talking
• Says what they feel instead of hinting
• Talks a disagreement through to the end
• Leaves places where their values don't fit

In love, the Lovers is the partner who wants a meeting of minds as well as hearts. They tend to be affectionate, honest and curious about you, and they treat the relationship as a choice they keep making rather than a status they hold. Long conversations are part of their romance, and so is telling the truth when it is hard. Reversed, they may lose themselves in you, or hover between you and someone else without deciding.

At work, the Lovers is the colleague who does their best work in partnership: the co-founder, the writing duo, the person who turns a solo project into a shared one. They work hardest for missions they believe in and build trust through honesty. As a boss they consult rather than command, and they hire for shared values. Reversed, they may avoid hard decisions to keep everyone happy, or stay in a role that quietly conflicts with what they care about.

If you recognize yourself in the Lovers, the card may be pointing to how much your relationships and your values matter to you, and how closely you want them to agree. Perhaps you are in a season of choosing, between people, paths or versions of your life. The card doesn't choose for you. It may simply ask which option lets you stay recognizable to yourself, and what you would say if you said it plainly.

Which of my relationships lets me be fully seen, and which asks me to hide something?